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As a therapist and the mother of three teenagers myself, I know firsthand that the more you push your kids, the more they get defensive and dig in their heels. They become reactive in the form of explosiveness or shutting down and ignoring you. Clamming up or exploding are both ways your teenagers attempt to manage their stress and defend themselves.

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Adolescents want to be their own person and make their own independent decisions, which can cause conflict in their relationships — especially with parents. One of the first tips for parents to navigate and have a positive communicative relationship with their teen is to empathize; try and understand where the teen is coming from. It can often be difficult to understand where the teen is coming from and there are assumptions which causes challenges in the communication process.

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Kids that feel close to one or more parents tend to do better in life. Listen to your teenager Be open and tell the truth.

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Fueled by decades of research and funded by the John Templeton Foundation, the CPTC will re-frame adolescence not as a time of impending disaster, but one of opportunity. Ginsburg said. With so many undermining messages about that relationship, we want to give positive developmental messages that will change the tone and tenor of the conversation.

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I know I was a lousy date that evening, compared to my younger sister who smiled her way through the night. Like most teens in the early years of adolescence, I struggled to identify my feelings. Was the burning in my face a fever?

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You probably talk to friends way more than you talk to your parents. That's natural. Even if you and your parents have a great relationship, you want to find your own path and make your own choices.

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Effective and open communication is at the heart of healthy parent-adolescent relationships. And research shows that adolescents who can openly communicate with their parents or caregivers on a regular basis—and feel like they are being heard—are less likely to engage in a wide range of risky behaviors 12 or to experience dating violence. While talking with adolescents can be difficult, research shows that as children enter early adolescence, they are less likely to disclose aspects about their life to their parents.

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The key to building a postive relationship and sorting out any communication difficulties with your teenager is to keep the channels of communication open. We tend to consider the importance of big talks about significant topics with teens, but the ability to connect when it really matters is often based on the ability to connect when it doesn't. The way you relate to them in day-to-day life will make it easier - or harder - to sort out the key issues.

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Moms find themselves grappling with the hurt of rejection while fiercely trying to protect their daughters from the pain they themselves may have experienced as a teen. The short answer is yes, by fostering true connection through authentic communication. Authentic communication encourages both moms and daughters to truly see each other for whom they are; to drop the expectations, lose the defensiveness and hear each other in a meaningful way.

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Any communication between parents and their children can be difficult, but when those children become teenagers, the potential for miscommunication increases greatly. Parents are often bewildered by the sudden changes in their kids. Of course, children are always changing anyway, but particularly with teenagers, the techniques and communication style that may have worked well before, falter in the face of a sullen or defiant teen. One cause is a natural tension between what parents continue to want for their children—safety, protection, and success, and what teenagers want as they mature—freedom, autonomy, and being treated as adults even though they still act like kids at least part of the time.

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